onmynerves

"Why Are You Writing In All Bold Faced red Font, Kramer?"

Because I can, and because this isn't HALF as annoying as people that wear bluetoothes while doing normal activities. THAT's why!

I hate cell phones, period. I hate talking on it, I hate carrying it, I hate people WITH them, I hate hearing them, I hate ring tones that people think are funny or cute, I hate every damn thing about cell phones. Just when I thought they couldn't GET more annoying, they go and invent BLUETOOTHE HEADSETS.

FE - FI -FO Skee Skoothe, DAMNNNNNNNNNN I HATE BLUETOOTHE!!!!!!!!!

It seems like before I go to dinner somewhere, someone has a rader. I am on that radar. When I arrive at my destination, they all scramble into position. "#1, he is HERE! Copy?"

"#1 here, we're in position in the back left non smoking quadrant."

"Okay...he is really looking annoyed already, so this will be good. Is the bluetoothe ass in his Khakis a go"

"Affirmative, he's a go and has his blue light extra bright and ready."

"Copy that team!"

"We are a go for launch on the Kramer bluetoothe annoyance"

I get seated, inevitably by the 40 something, balding guy. He has Khakis on, always with his designer socks and cheap tie. His 2.5 kids are jumping around screaming for attention, but he can't be bothered. He has his _______ing bluetooth in his ear. What if he recieves a phone call? Daddy can't acknowledge his children!

YOU DO NOT LOOK IMPORTANT.

YOU DO NOT LOOK COOL.

NO ONE CARES THAT YOU HAD $40 TO BUY A BLUETOOTHE.

Cell phones made you look cool in 1990. Not 2008! STOP IT!

There should be unwritten rules about cell phone, or technology overall for that matter, useage. *MY* rule is, if you're on a cell phone, I will talk loudly as possible around you so I get on YOUR nerves FIRST! You look at me in disgust, and I keep shoveling you obnoxious overtones both in look and in voice.

YOU ARE IN PUBLIC! If you want privacy, GO SOMEWHERE PRIVATE! Don't look at me like you think you own the turf, you stupid ignoramous!

Dear anyone that keeps a bluetoothe in your ear while you're not on it,

I hate you.

Signed,

Kramer